Dear Azure , I'm aware this letter will never reach you , but I write this regardless . Perhaps as a method to manage my stress , my grief ; though , I have no right to mourn you after all I've done . Looking back as far into my mind as I can , there is not a single moment I can think of where I am not with you . We were always so close , inseparable ; so much so that even Amarah - the strict man he is allowed me to sleepover in your cabin for just a few nights a week rather than in my own quarters . That's what makes living without you so much harder. I can't exactly remember how we met , but I do remember the very moment I fell in love with you . We were walking together to the nightshade field , our nightshade field . We were side by side and our hands brushed together , instead of pulling away , you intertwined your fingers in mine and gave my hand a gentle squeeze . You likely meant nothing by it at the time , but I found my heart beating ever so slightly faster when I saw you , my cheeks just a little bit hotter , myself much more nervous ... Azure , the man you are . You were always so considerate , empathetic , kind ; I was envious of you . Though , I've come to terms with the fact that maybe— just maybe I wasn't made to be loved . That I was put on this earth to hand out more love than I could ever receive . You were the closest thing to proving me wrong . I suppose a part of me was in denial , there was no way someone like me was deserving of someone like you , maybe that's why I did what I did . But , even now , I don't know my true intentions . I hope you find it in your heart to forgive me , Even when I still cannot forgive myself . I love you more than anything , if the Spawn is kind enough , may we reunite in my second life . - Forever yours , Timey